Pinch Me!

I'm still walking around in a daze ~ in shock that this is really, FINALLY happening! Yesterday our agency gave us some paper work that Brandy had filled out...medical history, birth father info, and the same personality & interests forms that Adam and I had to fill out. One of the things Brandy liked about us is that Adam was a Longhorn (he's not excited about that or anything ~ LOL!). In her paper work on the Sports section for likes she put: "Longhorn football" dislikes: "Oklahoma (Boo)." So there you go, another confirmation that this is a match made in Heaven! So the last question on her paperwork was, "If you had three wishes guaranteed to come true, what would they be." This was her #1: "To find the perfect family for my son." Wow, that's us! Adam and I both teared up when we read that. Brandy told Victoria when she was looking through Life Books and came to ours, "Why hasn't anyone picked them, they're great. I don't understand why they haven't been picked!" Then she said, "God was saving them for me!" Thank you Jesus for your goodness, faithfulness, and perfect timing!

How about that!

Those of you that know me well, know that I'm pretty sentimental. So I am loving that today is my Mom's (and my brother's) birthday. She of course is celebrating in Heaven. As my bf said, "This is the best present your mom would have wanted on her birthday!"
Also, Michael is due Sept. 15...my Dad's birthday is Sept. 14. Brandy will have a scheduled c-section, so Michael could very well have the same birthday as his Grand-Daddy!

God's Plan Revealed (and so worth the wait)

Introducing Michael Addison Richards, my son!!! Isn't he handsome?


Wow, I don't even know how to begin to tell you about today. God once again far exceeded what I imagined! Let me preface this post by saying that there are absolutely NO WORDS to explain the perfection and joy from today's match meeting...you just had to be there! I'll try my best to describe it.

I slept well last night and wasn't nervous or anxious, but peacefully calm. I did just fine during the day and then the anxiety hit in the car. Tons of questions/doubts (thanks to satan) began to flood my mind...what if she doesn't like us in person?, etc... We got there with one minute to spare and Adam grabbed my hand and said a prayer...ahhh, that was just what I needed. We walked up the path to the maternity home and right before we got to the door it opened. And there she was...the beautiful woman giving ME the most miraculous gift! She had a big smile on her face and we both just opened our arms to each other and she said, "I'm so nervous!" I said, "Oh don't be nervous" and I gave her a big hug and while we were hugging she said, "Thank you for hugging me!" I said, "Oh honey, I'm a hugger!"

So we were led upstairs to a meeting room that had a small sofa and two chairs. Adam and I sat on the couch and Victoria (from our agency) and Brandy sat in the wing back chairs facing us. I just can't describe to you the instant bond and connection we had...only God could have designed this! We talked for two solid hours. She talked about all the things in the Life book (boy am I glad I worked hard on my life book) that she liked about us and all the things we had in common. She loved the picture of the baby's room and the pictures of our home, she said I was a good decorator. I asked her what about our Life book made her decide on us, she said she knew when she looked at the first page, she said, "Oh they're just so cute!" She said God just gave her a peace about us. Victoria said that as we were walking up the path Brandy saw us and said, " Oh look, they're cute, they're just so cute!" Did y'all know we were so cute, I didn't! :)
She asked Adam about being a rocket scientist and me about being a teacher. She wanted to know how we spent holidays. She told us all about her daughter, who is 3 (will be 4 in October) and showed us pictures. Her daughter is a beautiful girl and seems to be very smart too.
We asked about the birth dad. He will not be in the picture at all, and that is fine. Brandy is from Dallas and her daughter is staying with her mom there. She gave us two sonogram pictures, as you saw above...that was such a great gift!
She also gave us two gifts that had been given to her. She takes HOPE classes and for each step she completes she is given a gift for the baby. She gave us a bath set and a hand-made diaper/wipe carrier. She said the big gift will come after the third step which is a bath tub full of goodies! I felt so bad taking these gifts and not having anything to give her. She is such a sweetheart ~ I just love her!

She wants us to be involved with the remainder of her pregnancy and with the hospital experience ~ I am so thankful! We will go with her to her next appointment on July 8 and the maternity home has given us permission to take her out to brunch after wards. She wants us and our extended family to be at the hospital when Michael is born.

Brandy told us that she doesn't want us to worry about her changing her mind because she said, "I'm not going to." She started crying and said, "Right now I can't even take care of my daughter so there's no way I can take care of this baby boy too." I have to tell you that I was very impressed by Brandy. She seems very bright, compassionate and "with it." She has a good head on her shoulders.

OK, here is the coolest part. Adam and I had decided on Michael Addison as our #1 pick for a name, but we decided to let Brandy have input on the middle name. By the way, Addison means, "son of Adam." We thought "Brandon" was as close as we could get to "Brandy" and this would be a way of honoring her...Michael Brandon. We also decided whatever name she may have picked out could be the middle name as well. So, she asked us if we had a name picked out and we said, "yes, we really like Michael." She said she liked Michael a lot. We asked her what name she liked, and she said, "Jacob." My first thought was, "whew, I'm glad I like it!" So we told her we had three options:
1. Michael Jacob ~ she liked that
2. Michael Brandon ~ we explained that this was a way of honoring her and she really liked it and I thought she was going to cry
3. Michael Addison ~ oh my goodness I thought she was going to jump out of her chair. she screamed and said, "Addison, it has to be Addison, oh my gosh I can't believe it, Addison!" Then she cried and laughed all at the same time. She has been talking about the name Addison her whole pregnancy. So not only is God blessing us with a baby boy, but He is giving us the name we want too! How cool is God?!?!?? When we were finished meeting we went downstairs and she told everybody about the name, she was so excited.

We hugged many times and we all had such a peaceful confirmation. Adam asked if he could lead us in prayer. Can I just say how much I love my husband!!! He led us in a beautiful prayer of thanksgiving and protection over Brandy and Michael.

As we were heading out Adam said something about telling people and Brandy said, "YES, tell the world!" Victoria walked out with us and she said, "well, this is one of the few match meetings that I've walked away from and knew I didn't have to worry about anything ~ this adoption is going to happen!" Yippee!

Well, that's it in a very BRIEF nutshell. I'm sure I'll probably remember things and add them as I remember. Please join us in praying for Michael. He seems to be doing just great. He is very active and kicking a lot. All doctor's visits have been good. The concern is that Brandy was on anti-depressants during her first trimester before she knew she was pregnant, one that could cause birth defects. As soon as the pregnancy was confirmed she was taken off this drug and put on a safe one. So far everything seems great and the doctor thinks all is well. We know God has his hand on Michael and we trust in His plan and Sovereignty. He has been so faithful and good!!

Goose Bumps

I have GOOSE BUMPS....because we just received the long awaited CALL! Our agency just called and said, "There is a birth mom that read your life book and is madly in love with you two! She wants to meet you!" Yippee!!! We are going to meet her on Friday. Her name is Brandy and she is in a maternity home. She has had months of counseling so she is ready. Brandy is 24 and is having a BOY! Brandy is due September 15 and will have a scheduled C-section. This will be a great birthday present for my Dad, his birthday is September 14!. Boy, I just can't stop shaking.

I am so excited but I guess still a little guarded because it just won't be real 'til that sweet baby boy is in our arms.

Please pray for our match meeting on Friday. I'll let you know how it goes.

Chosen and Appointed

My sweet friend was praying for me today and God gave her this poem...SO BEAUTIFUL! We know God is working RIGHT NOW on our behalf, so thankful! Oh how we will rejoice when we hold our baby that HE has made just for us...



Habakkuk 2:3 (New American Standard Bible)

3"For the vision is yet for the appointed time;
It hastens toward the goal and it will not fail
Though it tarries, wait for it;
For it will certainly come, it will not delay.



Rachel, I can hear you and see each tear you cry,
I know that you do not really understand why.
My child, I am working on things that you cannot see,
Please don’t lose the trust and faith you have in Me.
Your longing to be a mother has not been cast aside,
Just continue seeking Me and in My will abide.
Your child will find you at the appointed time by Me,
And in time my plan you will look back on and see,
That I was always working and setting things in place,
I knew your child, even when you could not see his face.
Keep on preparing the place where he will lay his head,
Don’t focus on the journey that seems so far ahead;
Just walk in peace and know that I have each step planned,
Even when it is more than you can understand.
I have a special treasure that I will trust to Adam and you;
Be patient, be watching for your dream will come true.
I have a special child that only you could raise;
And in time you will be able to speak My praise.
For this journey to your child will be one to share,
To encourage others in their time of waiting and despair.
For you have not been punished and you have done nothing wrong,
My child, it was for a purpose that I had chosen you all along.
You are to parent a child from another,
You are a very special chosen and appointed mother.
This child that I have for you will be a perfect fit,
For your family I have carefully together knit.
Keep your arms lifted in expectant prayer,
And soon your chosen child will be placed there.

The Dark Before the Morning

I have really been struggling the last few days...an unbelievable longing for my child. Mother's Day of course didn't help. It is the worst day of the year for me; I miss my wonderful blessing of a mom so much. I am so thankful for her and the way she prepared me to be a mom by her beautiful example! I can't wait to reunite in Heaven with her. I still picture her rocking my miscarried babies, taking care of them just like she would if she were here to love on her grand babies. For me, Mother's Day is one giant pointing finger, pointing at me shouting "You are not a Mom!" I can't stand the insensitivity of perfect strangers,and sometimes those that aren't strangers, who say, "Happy Mother's Day!" (this doesn't include you Jenn) FYI: Please don't assume every female you encounter is a mom! For the past 5 years on Mother's Day I have had to tell myself, "OK, next year you'll be a Mom." Here I am still not a mom and it absolutely breaks my heart. Thank you to my dear friend Jessica...who sent me a beautiful Mother's Day card that read, "For the Soon to be Mom!" I will always cherish that card Jessica, it meant more than you know! Thank you also to those who have spoken and written sweet words to me regarding Mother's Day, I am grateful and you did uplift and encourage me. So, Monday and Tuesday were better days. Last night Adam and I went to an Infant Safety/CPR class and that was fun; I sure hope we never have to use the skills we learned though! Well, this morning I could feel myself starting to sink deeply into a slump, I was trying not to, but I was sinking none the less. I was running errands just a while ago and was just starting to lose it. I was ready to attack anyone that so much as looked at me funny and I almost chased down a car that honked at me!! OH MY GOODNESS! Then I began to cry, when wouldn't you know it ~ My God intervened! A song that I have never heard before came on the radio...then the tears really came:

Do you wonder why you have to
Feel the things that hurt you
If there’s a God who loves you where is He now

Maybe there are things you can’t see
And all those things are happening
To bring a better ending

Someday somehow you’ll see you’ll see

Would you dare would you dare to believe
That you still have a reason to sing
Cause the pain that you’ve been feeling
It can’t compare to the joy that’s coming
So hold on you gotta wait for the light
Press on and just fight the good fight
Cause the pain that you’ve been feeling
It’s just the dark before the morning

My friend you know how this all ends
You know where you’re going
You just don’t know how you’ll get there
So say a prayer

And hold on cause there’s good for those who love God
But life is not a snapshot
It might take a little time but you’ll see the bigger picture

Once you feel the weight of glory
All your pain will fade to memory

It’s just the hurt before the healing
Oh the pain that you’ve been feeling
It’s just the dark before the morning

Almost

Yes, we almost thought we had a baby. Friday our adoption agency called. There was a baby born on Wednesday and they wanted to show our life book to the birth mom. Long story short, birth mom wasn't sure what she wanted to do, so the agency gave her through the weekend to decide. Monday she decided she would parent the child...which is natural. Needless to say we have been on an emotional roller coaster since Friday. To be honest, I (Adam too) never really had the feeling that "this was going to be the one," so I guess we're not as sad as you would think we would be today. This event caused us to realize that the scenario doesn't always happen where you are matched with a birth mom months in advance of delivery and have tons of time to prepare. You can get a call like we did after a baby has been born. So we realized we really do need to be ready. Sunday afternoon I went with two of my best girlfriends to register at Babies-R-Us and to purchase the remaining necessities we will need the first couple weeks. I washed everything and put them in rubbermaid tubs with lids, so hopefully they will stay pretty fresh. My dear friend gave us a bassinet for our bedroom. We also have a pack-n-play for the living room (since we don't have furniture in the baby's room yet). We are now ready to bring a baby home...ready in the sense that we have the stuff, our hearts have been ready for years.
Thank you for your continued prayers for our baby, his/her birth family, and Adam & I.
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths." Prov. 3:5-6